Confession: probably my biggest pet peeve on the planet is when people start a question with “Am I the only one who…?” No. You’re not. You’re not the only one who writes that way, reads that way, likes that food, likes that band, thinks Benedict Cumberbatch sounds like a Game of Thrones character or looks like someone squeezed Spongebob and stuck googly eyes on him…you’re just not. But. There’s a different kind of “Is it just me?” feeling, and that’s the stress of when you’re drowning in something and nobody’s talking about it and you feel like everyone’s got it together but you, and so you don’t wanna say a thing, and it all snowballs until you basically wanna curl up and die. I know that feeling. It’s why I wrote this post after splitting with my first agent. So in case you are wondering any of these things, I am going to categorically tell you, it’s not just you:
- It is not just you who feels left behind when your friends get agents or book deals. We have all moved at different paces and all had people skyrocket past us. We’ve also been the people moving past others. Pardon me if you’ve heard this before, but it’s so, so not a race. I got a book deal before other friends got agented, and now they have more book deals and with bigger houses than I do. Things don’t always move at the same pace, and that’s okay. Just be supportive for your friends, and let yourself be supported too.
- It is not just you who finds writing your first book under contract from start to finish complete and total hell. You are not the only one who thinks it is the crappiest thing you have ever seen. My CPs can tell you what an abomination I thought UtL was when I first drafted it, and I wasn’t wrong – I will definitely be blogging closer to its release about how much it was overhauled to become the book I now love – but that’s okay. You just have to get the words down. Everything else can come later.
- It is not just you who shuts down when you know too much about friends’ successes, whether or not it’s about envy. The hardest part for me of being in this wonderful community was being exposed to more transparency than I was ready for – about other people’s sales, advances, awards…everything. Not because I’m jealous, but because it made it feel like we’re not even in the same industry. I still feel that way, a lot. It sucks. But I know I’m not the only one.
- It is not just you who feels like your agent, or editor, or publicist isn’t paying attention to you, or doesn’t value you. Sometimes it’s hard to process that you’re not their only client; sometimes it really is a result of bad communication. But you are not the ugly stepchild. This happens to every mid-list author at some point. It just does.
- It is not just you who can’t do NaNoWriMo. Fast drafting is a particular skill, and it’s not one any author is required to possess, especially if you don’t write full-time. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a real writer, or a capable one, or that you’ll never finish another book.
- It is not just you who feels like you have no idea what’s going on, what you’re supposed to be doing, how best to promote your book, how to write a perfect query, how to form relationships…any of it. It is not even just you who randomly cries about things for no reason. It is not just you who’s curled up under a table with a bottle of whiskey and rocked back and forth like a toddler.
- It is not just you looking around a week or a month after release and going, “What now?”
- It is not just you who’s been ditched by a writer friend, broken up with a CP, split from an agent, gotten dropped by your publisher.
- It is not just you who feels like a fraud, or isn’t sure if you’re a “real” writer, or doesn’t know what a “real” writer even means.
- It is not just you hearing “this book is too quiet” or “this genre is dead” or “I can’t sell this.”
- It is not just you whose books Barnes & Noble declined to carry. Or your local indie. Or the library you frequented as a kid to whom you sent an excited postcard and who you were sure would be thrilled to hear from one of their own.
- It is not just you who is terrified of asking for blurbs, or who’s asked and been rejected, or who’s never been asked to give them, or who’s given them and seen them go unused, or who’s given one that’s been bumped off the cover.
- It is not just you who’s been rejected at any stage, ever, in fact.
- It is not just you who’s gotten a review so scathing and/or embarrassing all you can do is pray no one will ever see it.
- It is not just you who’s done an event and had no one come.
- It is not just you who’s so burned out, you haven’t been able to write another word for months.
- It is not just you who’s fallen into such deep depression and/or anxiety that you don’t want to get out of bed. Or that you can’t.
- It is not just you who has too much social anxiety to do book events and/or attend conferences.
- It is not just you thinking about entering therapy, or actually doing it, or going on meds. Not even close.
- It is not just you who worries about letting down their publisher, or readers, or family. It is not just you who fears they won’t earn out (whether or not doing so is actually necessary), and it is not just you who fears this will be the last book deal you ever get.
- It is not just you who is embarrassed by your sales numbers.
- It is not just you who’s had a book go out of print, and no, you’re not the only one who’s had it go out of print that early, either.
- It is not just you who’s seen returns on a royalty statement and felt like the world’s biggest loser over it.
- It is not just you who feels like no one has ever heard of you.
- It is not just you who can’t afford to attend conferences, or can’t take the time, or both.
- It is not just you whose book isn’t coming out in paperback, or never came out in hardcover, or never came out in hardcopy at all, and it’s not just you who’s questioned the legitimacy of your books because of their format, even when you know – you know – the words are the whole point.
- It is not just you who feels sick every time someone asks when your next book is coming out because you have absolutely no idea if or when there will be a next.
- It is not just you who’s spent more on marketing your book than you’ve seen come in, who ordered way more preorder rewards than necessary, and who’s still stuck with tons of swag years after release.
- It is not just you whose books aren’t getting print ARCs, especially in the age of COVID, even if other books from the very same imprint are getting them.
- It is not just you seeing other books on “Best of” lists or “Waiting on Wednesdays” but not yours, never yours.
- It is not just you who’s been sidelined by life, good things or bad things, and feels like they may never write again, even though stories still burn in you.
- It is not just you who might need a hug right now, or in an hour, or every hour on the hour, or more.
- It is not just you who needs a social media break; take it. You won’t be sorry. And no, people won’t forget you exist while you’re gone; they’ll just be happy to see you again when you come back.
It is not just you. It is never just you. And if you ever really and truly think it is, talk about it with someone; do not let fear or shame hold you back. For all you know, you might be talking about it with someone who thought it was just them, too.
Pingback: Early Spring Link Salad – Muse in Pocket, Pen in Hand
Julie Hutchings, Pretty Scary Author said:
Reblogged this on JULIE HUTCHINGS and commented:
Dahlia is one of those authors I always thought was miles ahead of me, and to hear her say this resonates. In my IT’S NOT JUST YOU, I’d like to contribute that it’s not just you that tries so many different approaches you can’t keep them all straight until you don’t know what you’re doing at all.
Pingback: Resources Roundup – Nov’21 – Gargi's World
Rina Locke said:
Reblogged this on Marina Abbott.
Pingback: Writing Links - Caroline Starr Rose
This isn’t perfect. thank you so, so much for writing it. I needed it today.
Ah! I meant this IS perfect! My phone screen is cracked to hell and I didn’t catch the typo! Thanks so much for this post.
Lindsay Hess said:
This is so good I want to print it off and tape it to the inside of my eyelids so I can always, always remember it. Reading this post was like getting a big hug. Thank you. ❤️
Can I just say how MUCH I needed a post like this today?
Pingback: Reverted, or When My Publisher Asked to Consciously Uncouple – Chase Night
Pingback: 10 of the Best Quotes About Writing from YA Authors - The B&N Teen Blog — The B&N Teen Blog
Pingback: Friday Links (farewell, o’ purple majesty) | Font Folly
Pingback: It’s Not Just You | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
Reblogged this on ellietaylorbooks and commented:
I feel like anyone who aspires to be a writer needs to reads this. Everyone who knows themselves to be a writer needs this. Everyone who has been published, once or ten times needs this. Thank you. We’re not alone.
Pingback: 2015 End of Year Book Survey | The Daily Dahlia
Kenneth D.W Marshall said:
Wow, I had no idea how much I needed to hear this perspective. Everything you said is spot on. It’s so hard to not compare or critique yourself to others or based on other’s accomplishments. But it is easy to feel like you aren’t doing what you should be or aren’t far enough along in your journey as you’d like to be. Sometimes it does feel like we are all alone and have no one to relate to. Great advice and great article!
Pingback: It’s Not Just You | The Midnight Writer
Edgar Melo e Costa said:
Reblogged this on edgarmeloecosta.
Reblogged this on Lauren – DUH Randomness..
Are you sure? 😉
It’s never just us, and yet writing can still feel awfully lonely.
Reblogged this on The Drawing Board.
Reblogged this on shamasani.
SHIVANGI MEHTA said:
Brilliant and spot on!
Reblogged this on KaXtone's Blog.
Very motivating and uplifting, thanks for this!
Reblogged this on beauty pirrates ' .
no its not just me but when i want to share it with someone, the first thing i hear is y is it tat only u fall in such pitfalls and y is it tat u have to crib about it. Y cant everyone just accept things in their life in front of others. Humans have a tendency to tell others that are living a perfect life with no mistakes made or else they crib about things throughout their lives. y don’t they just find a mid way..
or may be i am with the wrong company throughout
Reblogged this on –.
Reblogged this on encouragementforgreater.
Reblogged this on Author A.R. Rivera and commented:
I have followed author Dahlia Adlers’ awesome and insightful blog for several years now and ‘It’s Not Just You’ is one of my favorite posts that she has ever written, which if you’ve ever been over at The Daily Dahlia, you know that is really saying something.
Read on, readers, and enjoy . . .
Reblogged this on Write All About it .
Reblogged this on theseeyes.
Haha…love this, Praise God it is not just me. Good to know.
Reblogged this on 1000milesprojectletsmove and commented:
very intriguing read I love it
Jane Pavadai said:
I always think i’m further behind from everybody else I went to school with. I’m a grown up trying to hide everytime I see a familiar face.. but maybe i’m not the only one..
Finding Yourself Along the Way said:
Reblogged this on Finding Yourself Along the Way and commented:
I couldn’t express this enough
even though i never worry about writing a book or publishing, i know i should think it’s not just me, thank you
Reblogged this on Belt of Truth and commented:
Reblogged this on MIKHAIL WILLIAMS.
Dahlia Entertainment said:
sending love your way ! Such an awesome uplifting post !
Reblogged this on zicry.
Good stuff. Thanks for reminding me how it ain’t just me.
Great Blog and nice words! Best, Maria
Reblogged this on caramelbmb and commented:
Reblogged this on hamnatahirmalik.
Reblogged this on brokendownbeautyy.
Thank you for the reminder that it’s not a race. Such an encouraging statement and a great reminder in a fast moving world that wants everything now.
Reblogged this on JQSphere.
I think I really needed to read this right now. I’m an aspiring writer. I’ve been disturbed about my lack of writing lately. I keep seeing writers publishing books and wonder when I’ll do it.
I found your post very relatable, not to mention touching in many ways. Congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed!
Reblogged this on hannahglover.
Reblogged this on jaeteee.
sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who looks at a book and thinks that it would really be a good book for an essay i’m writing but then I completely forget the title and author when i go to the library.
Nikohl Vandel said:
Not always true. Sometimes you are the only one.
Reblogged this on Speak 👑.
This is a wonderful piece 👌
Please check my blog.. It’ll mean the world to me 😊😊
Amen! Great blog post!
Reblogged this on 5ammi.
Reblogged this on acertainboy.
Thank you for this! I’m more of a musician/lyricist than aspiring author but all of this applies! Keep me updated on your book, I’d love to read it!
Lovely post. Just what all us writers need.
I so needed this. Thank you!
Eyeland Gurl said:
Great…thank God is not just me who hasn’t yet had the chance to appear on Freshly Pressed….not just me at all.
This post is so relatable! Thank you…this is what people need to make their day… Lots of love!
Reblogged this on otpoetryspot.
Reblogged this on prettyperfectpure.
Emilee Nelson said:
Reblogged this on Forever Searching and commented:
It truly isn’t just you!
Can’t get better! More success to you!:-)
Pingback: It’s Not Just You |
Very well written! I love a quote someone posted before “flowers don’t compete with eachother, they just bloom!”
You make everyone around you feel special!
Reblogged this on Nur Aisyah.
Haha excellent motivation! ♥♥
Reblogged this on Introspection and Imperfection.
Amey Meyer said:
This brilliant message of reassurance is like a breath of fresh air!
Thank you for keeping it blunt- we don’t need more sugarcoating!
Just Kas | Runaholic | Kassy Yogini said:
Makes me envy the painter Corot who spent quiet days in the French countryside and just painted. It’s too bad what creating Art has become, and what a writer must do to be successful.
Sumit Suri said:
superb words ….
Reblogged this on FoxyFlash.
Reblogged this on genuineconfetti and commented:
I so needed to read this today. Thank you!
I absolutely love this! so true all of it. good way to say stop putting yourself down and get on with your life, everyone else has problems too “its not just you” lol.
Wow. Are you sure it isn’t just me? Kidding! I am new to actually living the dream of “not getting paid to write/ not having good enough numbers for Google Ads”, but your words are inspiring. One day, I won’t get paid to write my novel! Woohoo!
Never feels good to be all alone in the abyss. Thanks for the words of encouragement! Virtual hugs are being sent your way right this minute!
Thanks. Great and helpful advice 🙂
this is brilliant this puts how I feel into the words absolute brilliance
this actually gives the feeling that i am not the only one who go through that sometimes .. thank you for writing this
I chortle as I read this, ‘cos I was just writing an article, is it just me. Okay, I get you. Simply spot on.
Love this post so much! Thank you.
What a brave and honest post – thank you so much for sharing!
Reblogged this on myripplingtales and commented:
Exactly what i wanted to read.
Chelsey Ignacio said:
Reblogged this on CHELSEYKEITH.
Helped this a lot.. Lovely article. Keep this passion awake. Thumbs up
Love this!! So often I feel like a fraud when people ask ‘so what do you do?’ – this post is perfect!!!
Reblogged this on FlawLessLissa and commented:
Oh…I love this!! It is never just you. it never has been.
JM Stories said:
I’m taking this as permission to take the break from Facebook that I’ve been longing for. I surrender too much of my self esteem to that website. I count likes and comments as my reasons to get up in the morning. It’s ridiculous. Thank you.
Lisa Balthaser said:
Well, that about sums it up! Great read!!
james soliz said:
Reblogged this on a simple blog and commented:
A good read
Yes! Hairflip and dip, girl. 🙂
Reblogged this on I Was Thinking Out Loud and commented:
I like this piece… made me realise a lot of things…
Reblogged this on thegirlinhood.
Reblogged this on Deszy_Diamond Blogs.
Reblogged this on Random Thoughts and commented:
Is it just me?!?! 😎
Reblogged this on La Vie Se Passe.
Reblogged this on stagnantsituation and commented:
I’m not a writer but the general message can be really applied to anyone
This post made me feel a little better, thanks!
I love this!
C.S. Wilde said:
I absolutely loved this.
Miriam Cross said:
Reblogged this on saltnpepper and commented:
You really manage my anxiety about writing. Thanks!
I love this! Thanks for sharing it.
Chaitanya Haram said:
Amazing post! Can relate to each and every word! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone in this world!!! 🙂
Reblogged this on pebz74's Blog.
That one can earn royalties in the writing world is capital though it be but a few cents…..
Reblogged this on kuku'sWowBlog.
jasmine shei said:
Love this list!
Reblogged this on mlcmjk1's Blog and commented:
Hope for when I’m stuck…
Reblogged this on AM I ALONE? .
agreed. Great insight. Post drew me in. Thx
Chua Han Au said:
Wonderfully written. I like how you ended it — perfect! 🙂
Reblogged this on ♠♠♠ 3 of A Kind Shine ♠♠♠.
Reblogged this on rebellious mind.
Reblogged this on aerychtest’ and commented:
How amazing can you get with words?? This just reflects on how beautiful a person you are.
It’s refreshing to hear about writer struggles as well as success stories, it highlights just how hard it can be for everyone and that it isn’t just an easy rise to writing fame. Recently I read a post by a young writer who said that writing came to her easily and she got signed by the first publisher she went to. While that’s great for her, it would be greater if more people understood how rare this is and that writing has its challenges just like any other work.
Hope all is well with you!
Hello. I like your post.
Reblogged this on lbonbylhwmedia.
This is so true 🙂 Maybe check out my blog? https://bloggergirl7195.wordpress.com/ (I’ve just started it) x
Reblogged this on kirlinazhar.
Reblogged this on GoodOleWoody's Blog and Website.
yep…so true..its just that sometimes are being self centered gives us the idea the “its only me”..
Reblogged this on .
That is pretty honest..like crude honesty which requires guts to face! hats-off to you…
Reblogged this on Quotes Lover Since Forever.
Thanks for this! I’m a little way off publishing and agents but it’s given me a boost anyway 🙂
One of the finest blog posts I’ve ever read.
hell to the yes! Cheers
Love it!!!! We all think it’s just us until the one courageous soul says aloud what IT just IS!!!! Wonderful read!!
Yes, the answer to “why me?😢” is of course, “why not you?!” Just be brave, say your piece, and eventually stuff will happen. Or so they say. 😄👏👏👌👍👍
Reblogged this on An Elegant Surprise.
Dancing with Fireflies said:
Reblogged this on Dancing with Fireflies.
thank you so much 🙂
Its so not a race nor a competition. Awesome reminder
That is great I want to follow you
This was what I needed to read right now. Thank you 🙂
Reblogged this on rumblingsofapotato.
Maybe it just me. Who knows 😢
Anandita Ahuja said:
Hi! It’s very well written and with a pinch of uniqueness in your thoughts and way of writing 🙂
Reblogged this on ardenttravagent and commented:
I love this …
Pingback: It’s Not Just You | supertrampninja
This is just what I needed to hear. xx And I totally agree about the “Am I the only one who..” thing. Haha..
Thank you. For a beginning writer without a finished product let alone any sort of book deal or agent, this was a warm hug. I might read it again, hourly, as needed.
Reblogged this on ksvenvanie and commented:
What an Inspiration
Very touching and inspirational here…thnx
Reblogged this on nightigirl98.
Beauty & Bliss said:
Love it 🙂
Beautifully written. And it applies to so many other situations too! Thanks for sharing this Dahlia.
Reblogged this on okiezmadigital.
I love this post… It’s so inspiring!
Nice…I like what you write thank you and I agree
Reblogged this on kennethandrebrownsr.
Wow great to see …… It’s not just me 😊 made my day thanks
Reblogged this on lonelygirl and commented:
Wow great to see …….It’s not just me!!!! 😊
What I have been thinking about ‘am I the only one’ and ‘is it just me?’
And the writer’s advice was amazing. Thank you!
This is superb! It’s not just you, should be a campaign! Like it gets better. Because no matter what you are going though it’s not just you! There is always someone who has been through it too and come through the other side… Better and stronger!
Great post. Jessie
Pingback: It’s Not Just You | deguzmanjrdocs
Reblogged this on deguzmanjrdocs.
This is beautiful!
Such a profound message. Lots of times in our life we kill ourselves with such negetivity. It sure helps to vent it out. If you have a sounding borad in another person, great. Else atleast pen down the thoughts or if you are creative fmdrwa it out or just do something that will assure you that all is not that bad 😀
I think that’s correct I’m a kid who asked that question a lot know there’s somebody who told me I’m not alone in the world
Nothing to be depressed write for the love of writing not for readers ,if they wish to read they will find you ,if not ,no matter what you write they will not , so write ,write ,write……….
Stacey O said:
Liking this purely as a thank you for making me feel super self conscious about all the times I’ve used the phrase “Am I the only one who does this?”
Reblogged this on Hearts Heads and Hands.
That’s totally right! It,s exactly what I thought!
Amazing, this is something everyone needs to hear! This! Well Said!!
Makes me feel better about my severe lack of followers lolol. Thank you 🙂
Reblogged this on 7truthzzz.
Yes ! I often think why is my life that miserable but when I look out it is just not me. We act as though God only wanted us to go through all the worries but the truth we are in a better situation than a million. A very positive piece . Keep writing ..
Reblogged this on MƯA and commented:
it’s not just me, eager to write but afraid of writing and hesitant to actually go after writing
Reblogged this on xdayschocolate.
Great to know it’s not just me!
Reblogged this on slambox92.
Reblogged this on The Redhead Bibliophile and commented:
Just as I finish writing my post, I see this on another blog. It’s exactly what I needed to read today.
Thank you! this is exactly what I needed to read today.
Looooove this! I am 6 mos into my digital magazine and it is always a battle of “what am I doing wrong” and fighting the urge to constantly check my stats page! Best of luck with the book! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts!
Business & Financial Coach said:
Reblogged this on HOME-BUSINESS, DEVELOPMENT & BLOGS.
Maciel Sosa said:
Reblogged this on Maciel Sosa.
Nice post. i like it
Reblogged this on sagar1983.
Business & Financial Coach said:
I can only say three words for this…. I love it
Reblogged this on moxyeyez.
Tana Daily Telegraph said:
Reblogged this on Tana Daily Telegraph and commented:
An eye-opener in many ways. I am pleased to know I am not the only one going through the dramatic emotions of life. Thanks for sharing your experience with such valor.
You had my literally smiling so hard. I am so happy its not just me, it feel good to have company.
Reblogged this on iamerikag.
Even for the someone like myself who isn’t at all an author, I can still relate to the general theme you were conveying here. I get that feeling all the time when I see a friend who just got a sweet new car that’s 100x better than mine, or gets a much higher paying job than I have. I think that envy is a natural emotion that we all have from time to time, but I think that at the end of the day we all just need to be patient as (like you said) things happen at different paces for certain people.
Anyways thank you for sharing, really great post.
this post is such a relief to read!! i’m still a long way from having things like book deals and agents in my life, but i definitely relate to the feeling of putting a lot of unnecessary pressure and stress on myself when it comes to writing. i think it’s because i love it so much that i’m so afraid that if people hate my writing, i’ll be truly devastated. it’s caused me to take long gaps without writing at all, because i’ve mentally blocked myself out of fear. now i’m taking the approach of just making myself write a bit each day, whether in my journal, or story ideas in notes on my phone, or in my blog (PeopleIMetInMyTwenties.com). that’s making me feel a lot better – it’s reminded me of just how much i love it. and my blog’s getting positive reviews, too, which is great 🙂
Great post, sometimes you have to remind yourself, it is just not YOU
Lol or maybe you just arent meant to be a writer. Think of the environment, we need trees for toilet paper too.
Eli Hitler Razcon said:
I forgot to mention one more confusion of what the insanity people are saying. The insane people are saying they actually believe the secret service agents are “bugs bunnies,” and they actually believe Queen Elizabeth is a literal “honey bee.”
Oke Emmanuel Ayoposi said:
Reblogged this on pithylines and commented:
This is another hot piece for you after reading my “I LEARNT IT BUT T ITS TOO LATE”.
Oke Emmanuel Ayoposi said:
What an inspiring post. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable thoughts with people who need that type of honesty!
Stuart M. Perkins said:
I needed this today. I have been stalling on writing, not a book, but just an entry in my blog site. I said that after a year of blurbing on Instagram, I would lock down and start to write. Five months later, I finally mustered the courage to do that; I finally did it today. And your blog is the first I’ve ever actually read on here. Your words, your reassurance, and the encouragement sprinkled in all of the right places, was just what I needed.
This is beautiful
Reblogged this on panicashton.
Samuel AI said:
Reblogged this on samueladole.
Empress Olivia said:
Reblogged this on Life does not come with instructions!.
LindsayLandgrafHess (@LindsayLHess) said:
Hi Dahlia, new reader here – found this post from Carly Watters’ tweet. I am officially your newest fan, and just added your books to my Goodreads queue. This post is beautifully written and speaks to my soul. Oh wait, I’m sorry sorry, excuse me while I crawl out from the fetal position under the table and put my whiskey bottle back on the bar shelf before I go on. I’m currently querying and it’s so disheartening. After endless revision and finally positive feedback from beta readers and critique partners, I thought querying would be a total cinch. It has been humbling, to say the least. This post certainly makes me feel like I shouldn’t give up! Thank you for writing it!
Pingback: Top Picks Thursday 03-26-2015 | The Author Chronicles
Pingback: Friday Quotes #9 – Dahlia Adler | Trench Coats & Quotes
Pingback: It’s Not Just You | The Daily Dahlia | Fairies, Zombies, and Agent Queries
Pingback: Recipe (In Gifs) For Drafting After You’ve Forgotten How | Katherine Locke
Pingback: Out with the Old, In with What’s Next | Ever On Word
Pingback: TERRIBLE TUESDAY | Coffee Cups and Post-it Notes
Pingback: When Life Feels Like Getting Hit in the Face by a 2×4 | Throw This Book At Me
Hi Dahlia, I found this post through Twitter and wanted to tell you how I related to it and needed to hear it. Beautifully done. Will be reposting it so other writer friends can appreciate it, too!
christine danek said:
Thank you for this honest post. I have shared this and it made me feel like I’m not the only one.
Absolutely! I had to share. It’s all of us, at one time or another. Thank you for this.
Kestrel Drake said:
I was chatting with Joey Hill last night about that feeling you get when you’ve read a really good book, and you think, “Gods, how can I ever measure up to this?” Every time an author inspires you, there’s a good chance they’ll also make you wonder why you ever thought you could do this crazy thing. I have to keep reminding myself that there are readers out there for every book – that there are readers for MY book(s), but they’ll never find me if I don’t get the words out. Thank you, KJ Charles, for tweeting this link, and thank YOU, Dahlia, for being brave enough to bring this out into the light.
Jenny Moyer said:
This. Post. Seriously, I teared up halfway through and just nodded my head. Ah, someone who totally ‘gets it’ and isn’t afraid to talk about what we all feel and go through on this freakin’ rollercoaster that is writing and publishing. THANK YOU, Dahlia, for your transparency, and vulnerability in this. It is powerful and moving, and I’m recommending every writer I know read it. All the ((hugs)), and whiskey-soaked cupcakes…keep being the awesome writer you are.
I love you, I love this post. And, side note, so you know forever, even though this is probably not the point of this post at all, I still need to say it: I am always Waiting on Wednesday for your books. Always.
(Also, my “it’s not just you” I have to believe is: It’s not just you who’s paralyzed by the idea of actually sitting down and writing words that may or may not become something.)
Dahlia Adler said:
I love *you*, birthday girl! Thank you for being a wonderful supporter of my books ❤ And that is so incredibly not just you. Even those of us who sit down and write words that become something daily have specific stories in mind we're paralyzed by the idea of sitting down and writing.
Thank you for the post. It’s nice to know that it’s not just me who goes nuts – who loves my book one day then thinks it is total crap the next day and ends up stuffing myself with chocolate. I might try the whiskey under the table thing next time – fewer calories and less sticky mess.
R.J. Anderson said:
So true. So amazing. So necessary. Thank you, Dahlia.
Sarah Glenn said:
Beautiful. Brilliant. This is so well said. Thank you. ❤
Oh goddess, YES. To all of it. I’m dealing with a bunch of these things, and this is really helpful. (Can I crawl under the table with a bottle of wine instead?) Thank you.
JB Schroeder said:
So totally with you, Dahlia! Sharing, and sending you hugs!
Seth Z. Herman (@SethZHerman) said:
THIS. ALL OF IT. NOW AND ALWAYS.
Robin Constantine said:
This is the best. ❤
Sometimes it’s the idea that all this is normal that is most frightening
Vivi Barnes said:
I love this post, Dahlia! LOVE IT! <333 ALL the hugs!
Marie Meyer said:
I’m so glad to hear it’s not just me! Thanks, Dahlia, I needed to hear this. 🙂 Well said. Great post!
Rebecca Petruck said:
Thank you so much for this extremely generous post!
Kate Larkindale said:
Fantastic post, and one everyone in our community should read.
Kate L. Mary said:
OMG. The second one was something I needed to read. Today. I literally just sent my first book written under contract to my editor. I’m pretty confident it’s the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever written. Including my first book, which will probably never get published. Thank you for this!
Thank you. I’ll never have enough words, so simply thank you.
I think everyone needs to hear them, myself included. I sometimes want to give up on querying and then someone says “keep at it! there’s a market for your book!”. This was a great thing to see and you’ve written it so well!
sabina khan said:
What a great post ! I am reposting this on my blog. I think it will resonate with many of us who are on the cusp of self publishing or being published. I know I needed to read this today, so thanks !
sabina khan said:
Reblogged this on Realm of the Goddess and commented:
I think many of us can relate to this. Great post by Dahlia Adler.
Thanks, Dahlia! I’ve been really struggling the past few weeks. The final book in my debut trilogy came out to positive reviews, but awful sales. It’s been hard to deal with, but this post truly helps.
Mara Rae said:
This was awesome Dahlia. Thank you!
This post is everything. I’m printing it out for future reference. Thank you!!!
Thank you for saying this. It’s a great gift.
Katie Doyle said:
I needed this today. Thank you!
This morning I listened to the high school counselor explain that our kids get stressed/depressed when they compare “their insides to other people’s outsides”. The same is true for adults. And writers. Glad to hear it’s not just me. Thank you!
Adrianne Russell said:
I so needed this. Hugs!
Regina Garvie (@garviegirl) said:
Thank you for this post – great message and perfect timing. *hugs*
Lydia Sharp said:
This is fantastic Dahlia. Thank you for putting what we all feel into words.
Debra Dockter Young Adult Author said:
Great post. Exactly what I was needing today! Thanks and virtual hugs.
Donelle Lacy said:
So glad it’s not just me who thinks if I take a social media break everyone will forget me by the time I come back. Thanks for the post!
Sarah Floyd said:
Thank you! Very encouraging. : )
Megan Erickson (@MeganErickson_) said:
Oh my, this was a lovely and brave post. Thank you.
And it’s not just me who loves this blog post and totally had it speak to them at a really important time. Thank you.
Great post, thanks! ❤
Melissa Sarno said:
Oh … I love this. Thank you.
Wait… Are you trying to tell me something?
Great post, as always.
Although I am aware that I’m not as… basically everything you just wrote down, it’s nice to have someone else say that they know it, too.
Maryanne (mfantaliswrites) said:
This is so helpful. I am at the stage now where it feels like all my writer friends have contracts or are debuting or are launching their second book, and here am I, feeling like a fraud when I say “I’m a writer”. Thank you for saying what needed to be said. Gosh, we’re all just a bundle of insecurities, aren’t we? 🙂
Shauna Granger said:
Reblogged this on The Musings of an Author in Progress and commented:
I was going to blog about this, but now I don’t need to.
Ally Hayes said:
Paula Stokes said:
All the hugs for you, D. ❤ I would also add:
It's not just you who wonders if you're sacrificing too much, if you might be happier in an office job that provides insurance and stability and doesn't consume every waking (and maybe every sleeping!) moment of your life.
This is perfect. And just what I needed to hear today! Will be sending to all my CPs.
Ann Noser said:
Thank you! I needed this and know of so many others now that do too. *squeezes you super tight and is happy you still look great and not like a spongebob*
You’ve got style! ❤
Rachel Pudelek (@rachelpud) said:
Yes! This! I must share this with other writers because like you said, it’s not just me and it’s not just them. 🙂
This is so lovely. Sends All the Virtual Hugs.