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Hi everybody! As you may have guessed from the title of this blog post, this is not going to be all sunshine and sweetness. Of course, as you may have guessed from interacting with me enough that you know this little blog exists, you know that I’m not either. You might even think I’m kind of a jerk. I’ll try not to take that personally 😉 The thing is, it’s nice to be nice, but when you’re only nice, you’re probably not being all that helpful to the people who really need it, who really want to get better, be stronger, try harder.
I’m a firm believer in confidence and thick skin being two of the keys to this whole writing thing. It’s what allows you to humbly take crit and internalize it. It’s also what allows you to know when a suggestion isn’t right for you. Those are hugely important to the art of revising, revising being that thing that actually makes your manuscript good.
Most importantly, it’s what keeps you going when all you want to do is crumble under the weight of rejections. And we all want to crumble under the weight of rejections, except for those of us still frozen in fear of getting rejections who never make it out of the gate.
To that end, here are 10 sunshine-and-sweetness-free messages from me, A Writer, to you, A Writer, that amass everything I want to scream from the rooftops now that 2012 is coming to a close:
1. Yes, “no agent is better than a bad agent” is a real thing. I’m so glad you’re asking “why??” right now. Well, I’m glad you did! I will tell you!
Here’s what agents do. They offer. They give you revision notes, or they don’t. Eventually, you and your manuscript go on submission. Going on submission is when your agent makes a list of editors/imprints to submit your manuscript to and then does it.
Now put on your editor hat for a second and imagine the following scenarios, all of which do actually happen:
1) Agent you’ve never even heard of calls. Hahahaha dude, I am far too busy for your call. Leave a message I won’t return because I don’t know who you are.
2) You are suddenly dying for a contemporary romance to fill your list. You’re not really getting anything of that sort that draws you in. You know what might get you one, though? Calling/e-mailing/having lunch with an agent friend who reps exactly what you’re looking for and asking if he/she’s got anything like that for you. Who are you not calling? Random new agent you don’t know and have no interest in sitting down to crab cakes with.
3) Agent pitches you a debut. It’s nothing huge, probably a safe midlist bet, but that’s not who you handle because you handle major literary superstars so WTF is this agent doing? I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AND I WILL NOT DIGNIFY YOUR REQUEST WITH A RESPONSE. Which then means you’re stuck, because it’s not going to anyone else at that imprint, even though it might be totally appropriate for an Assistant Editor there, and while it’s there, it’s maybe not going to anyone else at that house, either.
Now let’s say you’ve realized only after your manuscript has gotten out there that you have in fact made a poor choice of agent. You decide to leave. You ask for a list of where you’ve been subbed, and you get it. (And if you don’t get it, holy crap have you hit the trash heap of agents.) Pay close attention to that list, because those are the places your new agent will not be submitting to, because you have already used up your chances on those editors.
This is a competitive business, and unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of chances, and there’s not much you can control. But you can control making a bad choice just so you can add a line to your Twitter bio. I’m going to stop now, but I will finish with this: Yes, every agent must start somewhere, but you have no responsibility to be any agent or agency’s guinea pig.
Also, if you’re not gonna take my word for it, trust this post, and the ones linked within. They can explain it far better than I can.
2. Unless you’ve got weird typing habits, you’re eventually gonna find it pretty tough to keep writing if someone’s holding one of your hands at all times. Everyone needs reassurance sometimes. Everyone. Me. I e-mail my CPs pieces of my manuscript with things like “good God take this piece of crap off my hands.” But there is a limit. You are not always going to have confirmation at every step, and you’re going to need to trust your own instincts sometimes. The more people you find yourself turning to for confirmation, the longer it’s going to take you to get things done. Because when you send your ms to ten people to beta? That’s ten responses you’re waiting for in order to fully proceed. Do you really want to put yourself on hold like that? And then deal with ten pieces of potentially conflicting feedback as a result?
3. You cannot trust every stranger you want to, even on the Internet. I know, right? Goes totally contrary to everything you’ve ever been taught by your parents. And actually, it goes contrary to a whole lot of instincts we writers have too. How can you not want every willing reader to gobble up your beautiful work and be floored by your amazing writing skills? But seriously, DO FIVE SECONDS OF BACKGROUND CHECKING BEFORE SENDING YOUR MS TO SOMEONE AND FIND SOMEONE WHO TRUSTS THEM FIRST. Look, this is not foolproof. People can take your ideas without even realizing they’re doing it, without meaning to harm you at all. I had a somewhat light version of this happen to me and I wanted to scream and cry for months. Others have had it much worse. What it all comes down to is, THINK BEFORE YOU SHARE. But yes, you can still take that guy’s candy.
4. #askagent is not Google. For the love of God, do your homework. You know what makes doing your homework easier? The incredible amounts of work people put into making that information available. You know what’s frustrating? Joe Writer using an agent’s valuable time that they donate to answer questions on Twitter to ask questions like “Do you represent X?” (CHECK THEIR WEBSITE) or “What’s an appropriate word count for Y?” (LET ME GOOGLE ONE OF THE MULTIPLE POSTS ON THE SUBJECT WRITTEN BY AGENTS FOR YOU, OH NO, WAIT, DO IT YOURSELF). There are so many writers’ forums out there, so much information available all over the Internet, and it’s your job to find it, not theirs.
5. It is extremely important to understand what publication means. Publication means that you are exposing your work to the public at large. It means you are open to compliments, yes, but also to criticism. From complete strangers. Who may be absolutely horrible to you on Amazon or Goodreads or a personal blog or anywhere they damn well please. This is never not going to be a facet of the business. If you cannot be okay with that, remember, there is nothing wrong with writing for fun. Not everything has to be for publication. But if it is going to be for publication, you need to be able to read negative reviews without completely losing your cool. You need to accept that people will be mean. And yes, you’re going to need to take it, because losing your cool in response is never, ever okay.
6. It’s worth taking the time to find the right Critique Partners for you. I’ve been extremely, extremely lucky to find five incredible writers who read everything I do and give me thoughtful feedback in a timely fashion. Not a day goes by that I take that for granted. But when I first started, oh man, did I think I was going to have a zillion CPs. Everyone and her mother said, “I’ll read the next one!” “We’ll trade!” “Can’t wait to read when you’re finished!” I made a list of something like 11 people who were going to read my next ms. Then when the time came, I had 5 – an amazing 5, no doubt, but clearly not what I had expected.
Things happen. People get busy. Everyone has their own writing to do. Maybe it turns out you and your CPs have different styles or harshness levels or whatever and it doesn’t work out. Maybe someone was basically pumping you for crit and never had any intention of returning the favor. I’ve heard all of these things happen a zillion times, but do not give up. You will find that person or people who can put you at the top of their list. Don’t let disappointments stop you from making some of the most important connections you ever will. Your work will be so much better for the effort.
7. If you’re an aspiring author, it would really, really behoove you to have a website. Don’t want to blog? Don’t blog. But have somewhere that agents, editors, and fellow writers can learn a little about you and how to contact you. It helps writers know they might want to beta for you, and agents/editors know you’re capable of establishing a social media platform for yourself. Plus, it demonstrates some of your writing ability in more than 140 characters.
8. If you don’t know how to be happy for other writers, it’s time to learn. Most of the writers I’ve met over the past year are pretty damn fantastic. You know how it feels to see them get book deals before me? Actually pretty damn fantastic. Yes, I want to succeed, but guess what? I DON’T NEED OTHER PEOPLE TO FAIL FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. Also? I really like reading good books, so when people who are writing good books get book deals? That’s win-win, baby.
9. You cannot always get everyone on board with your choices. Instead of working on that, work on getting on board with your own. Yes, there are a lot of close-minded people out there when it comes to every single aspect of publishing. There are people who judge self-publishing, vanity publishing, small presses, medium-sized houses, and big ones. People who think you’re an idiot for involving an agent, and people think you’re an idiot for not involving an agent. You cannot win over everyone. The best you can do is figure out which method is right for you and then go about doing the best job you can toward that end. The biggest best sellers still have haters; you’re never, ever going to escape this.
10. There are a lot of ways to support other writers that don’t involve money or even a whole lot of time. Do them. Recommend books. Retweet links to writers’ blog posts. Congratulate writers when they get agents/book deals. Leave reviews. Comment on blogs. Give interviews. Host blog hops. Follow blogs. Follow writers. Answer questions. Give crit. Beta. Help out in a contest. Spread the word as necessary. It’s a community only if we make it one, and it works because of how many amazing people put in the time to do every one of those things.
There, that last one was kinda sunshine-y, no?
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Kaye M. (@gildedspine) said:
Bravo! I can think of a few writers I’ve encountered that need this post. Thanks again for your awesomeness 🙂
Lisa D said:
Love this!
Christine Faris said:
Exactly what I needed to read while I’m evaluating how this year has gone and preparing myself to dive in for the next 12 months!!!! Cheers!!
Dahlia said:
Aw, that makes me so happy, thank you!!
Christine Faris said:
Reblogged this on .finding the end of the world. and commented:
Okay fellow writers, read this:
PA Lassiter said:
Every point here feels like a gem of truth and something one should review from time to time, especially the caution about agents. It might be tempting to take the first hand offered, but getting one’s career stuck in a whirlpool going nowhere would be a tough lesson to learn the hard way. Sign in haste, regret at leisure.
Erica Chapman said:
I heart this post so much!!! YOU are so insightful and brilliant, you know that? Excellent post ;0)
<333
Willa Blair said:
Excellent post. Great advice!
Janet Johnson said:
Definitely not mean! Stuff writers need to hear. Go you, for being blunt. 🙂
Freda Cameron said:
Good post. Honest. To move forward in all professions, constructive feedback should be welcome. As I used to advise my direct reports when I was an IT and marketing manager — criticize the work, not the person. Unfortunately, some folks think all criticism is personal.
stephscottil said:
Good advice! I like #8 about supporting other writers. I’ve been so encouraged by watching successes unfold on blogs and twitter, and in my very minor successes (getting agent page requests) people have been equally as encouraging. Love it!
Valerie Cole (@ValerieFM80) said:
Awesome post, Dahlia! Lots of great advice here!
Also, I love the snow falling all around your blog today 😀
melanie conklin (@MLConklin) said:
YAY! I’m co-hosting my very first contest in the Spring, and I’m excited/anxious about taking my connections to that level. I’ve seen the insanity, and this WILL NOT be an agent-involved contest, but it will be my first taste of being on the other side of the writing fun. You do a good job with this. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Feaky Snucker said:
YES!!!!! To it all. 😀
Gina C. said:
There’s a big difference between honest and mean. This post is honest, but nothing about it is mean.
It’s great to have a supportive writing community, because the truth is, there are going to be times that really and truly suck in this publishing biz, and then there will be times that won’t. Being on one side of the fence one day doesn’t guarantee you’ll be there the next. Other people’s successes are not our failures, and vice versa. All we can do is educate ourselves and give it our best shot. And be thankful for the fabulous, smart, hilarious CP’s we pick up along the way, and for everything they teach us, and for the stories we come away with in the end.
And as a total random aside, this snow thing you’ve got going on over here totally made me think I was having a stroke.
Pingback: Dear Writers:10 Blunt Messages from Me to You on the Eve of 2013 « Kate Brauning
kimkasch said:
Great info. Thanks for building the community 😀
Michelle said:
Seriously in love with this post. I used to need the constant affirmation that I was going in the right direction with a story, and you’re so right – no one is going to hold our hands every step of the way.
M. Andrew Patterson (@DyadicEchoes) said:
That wasn’t mean at all. That was honest and frankly awesome. I especially liked #8. 😀 Thanks for supporting us in everything you do. 😀
bwtaylor75 said:
Awesome post. Anyone serious about writing should know most of these things already.
I also agree with Kat when she says writers need to know when to cut ties. Not every CP will mesh. It’s perfectly okay to cut ties. Know what you want and don’t settle for less.
And now some smiley faces: 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Jeanmarie Anaya said:
You tell ’em, girl! Great post!
I find that my skin levels range from thick to thin depending on the number of rejections I’ve had in any given month. LOL. Thankfully, I’ve got supportive CPs and beta readers 😉 to help me with the confidence part. It’s a delicate balance…. 🙂
Brenda Drake (@brendadrake) said:
I appreciate you every day. You are so open to helping other writers in your way. You’ve helped me on occasion and I ❤ you for your honesty! Great post!
Carol said:
Seriously awesome post. Thanks Dahlia!
Elaine said:
This is awesome. Every single one of these. Blunt is best! 🙂 Thanks, Dahlia.
Elisa Nuckle said:
Love the bluntness! These are all great points, too, especially the holding hands part. I’ve been especially guilty of this and have recently decided to just trust myself more. So far so good! 😀
Elodie said:
so much honesty and truth in this post! Can I tell you again how lucky I feel that I’m on your team?
Rachel O'Laughlin said:
Reblogged this on Rachel O'Laughlin and commented:
Loved this. Can’t appreciate Dahlia enough, and the fact that she shares with such ease! Muah!
Kat Ellis said:
Fabulous post, Dahl. I’d also add to #6 that sometimes it’s necessary to cut ties with a CP – which doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends with them. I see a lot of writers wailing about the dreaded CP who shreds their work and makes them feel like crap, and I just think: “if their critique style is making you feel that bad, why are you sending them your work?”
I can take crit on the chin, but if someone’s crit style is of the ‘kick you in the crotch whilst smiling and waiting for thanks’ variety, I’ll pass. But writers seem to think that CPs can’t be broken up with. Personally, I’d rather back away from CPing with someone if either of us feels that way – and I’ve said this to my own CPs. I’d rather be a supportive friend than a harsh critic, if that’s how my crit makes them feel.
Carrie-Anne said:
I agree that there’s a difference between constructive critique and not saying anything positive. One would-be beta reader only said what she didn’t like about a first chapter, instead of paying equal attention to what she did like. I’m really not thrilled with this apparent trend (which I’ve seen many places) of ONLY saying what you hated or thought could change, instead of saying what you liked.